Blog

Surely you're familiar with the adage: failing to plan is planning to fail. You're likely great at planning things you enjoy, like vacations or life's celebratory milestones.

But when it comes to pre-planning your Jewish funeral, you'd prefer to procrastinate. Indefinitely. 

It makes sense. 

Planning your funeral, or even that of a loved one brings with it understandable anxieties. It is difficult to consider the end of your life, and no one looks forward to addressing those details. 

It's easy to get overwhelmed when considering end-of-life arrangements. To address these concerns, Matt Levinson, Vice President of Sol Levinson & Brothers Funeral Home, Eliza Feller, Director of Advance Planning at Sol Levinson & Brothers, and Rabbi Steve Schwartz answered some of the most commonly asked questions about planning a Jewish funeral. 

Why do I need to pre-plan a Jewish funeral? Why can't my family deal with my funeral arrangements when my time comes?

Funerals are a life cycle event that requires careful and thoughtful planning.

"Judaism teaches that every moment of life is sacred. But death is also a sacred moment of life, and we must treat it as such," explained Rabbi Steve Schwartz. "As a society, we're conditioned not to talk about death, but we must discuss it, plan for it, and confront its inevitability." 

"Talking about death and funerals is never easy, but having this conversation ahead of time means that your family won't have to do it while they also grieve," Matt Levinson said. 

Having these admittedly upsetting conversations in advance can be enormously helpful to your family and loved ones. Pre-planning a Jewish funeral allows your family to grieve without the added stress of addressing ritual obligations, customary choices, and logistical considerations. 

"It is healthy to have conversations about death - what it might mean to your family and you as an individual - before the death process is far along," Rabbi Schwartz said. "Your family will endure painful and difficult moments around the actual loss, so it's best to avoid a planning crisis during this already challenging time." 

What are the benefits of Advance Planning for a funeral?

Advance funeral planning comes with many emotional, financial, and practical benefits for your family. 

"Clearly expressing your final wishes will prevent your family from having to guess during an already difficult time," Mr. Levinson explained. "Does your family sometimes disagree on things? Having your desires put down on paper can help keep the peace between family members and allows them to focus on themselves and the grieving process."

Knowing whether you want to be dressed in the traditional white burial shroud or your favorite sweater isn't a decision your family should make while grieving. Indeed, there are many Jewish customs and traditions to consider when planning a Jewish funeral.

"You should have a discussion with your family about shiva: how many days they plan to sit, when they will host services, and so on," Rabbi Schwartz said. "Often families will consult their rabbi, but I also encourage you to have advanced conversations with Levinson's regarding details like tahara (the traditional ritual purification of the body), tachrichin (the traditional burial shroud), and the Hevrah Kadishah (literally, "holy society," the individuals who watch over the deceased and prepare the body for interment)." 

What are the benefits of pre-paying a funeral?

Pre-planning a funeral also allows you to make the necessary financial arrangements, so your family does not bear the burden of that cost while also grieving. According to data provided by Sol Levinson's, funeral prices across the country have risen 2-3% on average every year. 

"As someone recently said to us about pre-paying for their funeral: it's just common sense," Ms. Feller said. "We've also heard: [pre-planning my funeral] is the greatest gift I can give my family." 

Ms. Feller explained that families who pre-paid only need to schedule their loved one's funeral and can then go back to focusing on their family. Conversely, families who haven't pre-paid face impossibly difficult decisions, at one of the worst times in their lives. 

So how does pre-payment work? Selecting the type of funeral you want also means that you control the cost. Taking the emotional aspect out of planning means you can make practical decisions that work for you and your family. Pre-paying funeral expenses is also one of the main ways to spend down assets for Medicaid.

"When families pre-fund funerals through our special guarantee program, they lock-in all of Sol Levinson's costs indefinitely," Ms. Feller said. "Funeral costs increase every year, so when someone in their 60's pays for their funeral now, they can potentially save their family thousands of dollars."

I'm not sick or old. Why should I talk about this depressing subject now?

Matt Levinson suggests a person should plan their end-of-life arrangements when they are still relatively young and healthy.

"Life is unexpected," Mr. Levinson said. "Having met with families suffering a sudden loss who are left directionless, I cannot overemphasize the importance of having honest conversations - with yourself and your family - as early as possible." 

Rabbi Schwartz added that pre-planning a funeral can help a person come to terms with the idea of death and accept their mortality. "Making advanced funeral arrangements provides a sense of control, in that a person can still make meaningful choices regarding the end of their life," he said. "They can be helpful to their family by making those decisions."

To that point, advanced funeral planning can help secure desirable cemetery plots. 

"Families find comfort knowing they've buried their loved one near the final resting places of other family members," Rabbi Schwartz said. "Location is an important factor - cemeteries that are far away make it more difficult for families to visit - as are aesthetics, as people find comfort in a well-maintained, beautiful cemetery grounds."

Mr. Levinson understands these are difficult conversations, but he and his staff are here to help guide you through the process. "Our funeral directors specialize in Advance Planning," he said. "We are sincerely committed to helping you and your family."

What happens at an Advance Planning discussion?

One of Levinson's Advance Planning Specialists will meet with you and your family in your home, at the funeral home in Pikesville, at the Arrangement Center in Columbia, or over the phone. The conversation begins with a review of relevant background information, such as statistical information for the death certificate. Next, the Advance Planning Specialist will present all available options, offering guidance on specific cemetery or clergy requirements, as well as options for alternative services if a traditional burial is not in your plans.

"Judaism prefers to bury the deceased as soon as possible because our tradition teaches us that leaving the body unattended is disrespectful," Rabbi Schwartz said. "Jewish tradition considers the body to be a vessel that once contained something sacred and holy -  the human soul - and as such, we must preserve the body with dignity, respect, and great care."

Creating a plan ensures Levinson's can honor your wishes and set next steps into motion immediately, following Jewish tradition. Moreover, pre-planning your funeral eliminates the need to have that discussion - which can take an hour or longer - during a very stressful time for your family.

"In addition to addressing all the requisite logistics, we also take great care to personalize your funeral to your exact wishes," Ms. Feller said. "During the Advance Planning meeting we review any requests you may have: a favorite song to be played, burial with your favorite fishing rod, your paintings to be displayed, a particular reading that you absolutely do not want read."

"Sometimes there are other rituals that go along with the Jewish funeral, such as a military burial at the cemetery or a service by the Masons at the chapel," Rabbi Schwartz said. "These details can be difficult to coordinate, which is why advanced planning is critical." 

Sol Levinson's then prepares a written Advance Planning Guide, which documents your information and expressed wishes. The Advance Planning Guide specifies all funeral-related details such as burial plot information, number of required death certificates, family information for death notices, as well as contact information for attorneys, accountants, and financial planners. Families also use the Advanced Planning Guide to store usernames and passwords for online bill payments and social media, insurance, bank account information, and more. The guide also contains resources for during and after the funeral such as information on Sol Levinson & Bros. bereavement programs, unveiling information, tips on setting up a shiva house, and a checklist of places your family may need to notify.

"This is a no-obligation meeting," Mr. Levinson explained. "There is no charge to meet with us, and no need to pay us if you aren't ready to take that step." 

Pre-Planning Your Funeral Provides Comfort and Control

"We know that most people aren't thinking about their funeral as they go about their daily life," Mr. Levinson said. "However, as funeral directors, we constantly see the benefit of people planning ahead."

Advance planning prevents a daughter from having to select a casket for her recently deceased mother, or spares a nephew from paying for his uncle's funeral because he didn't have any other family. 

"We understand how difficult this conversation is, but we do everything in our power to make it as easy for you as we can," Mr. Levinson said.

"The pre-planning process can be comforting and provide a sense of control when you feel you might not have any. Advance Planning prevents your family from dealing with the logistical difficulties and financial burdens during a time of immediate loss," Rabbi Schwartz said. "I strongly recommend that Beth El members pre-plan their funeral with the compassionate team at Sol Levinson's. Every family that does so is grateful when the time finally arrives."