Embracing the Dual Faith Family
10/26/2018 05:54:32 PM
If that is at all noteworthy, it is because Robert's wife, Elizabeth and her family are Catholic.
“Our children have been attending infant/toddler and the preschool since they were 12-weeks old. The school community has always been welcoming to both my Jewish family and my wife's Catholic family. Elizabeth's mother, a practicing Catholic and retired kindergarten teacher, does almost all of our pickups and drop-offs as well as parent and grandparent days. The community at Beth El has been amazing, to the point where she has commented about how good the teachers and staff are at explaining the Jewish customs to those who do not practice.”
Hiken joined the congregation after a positive experience with the schools. And now, as the Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas holidays approach this year, Robert and Elizabeth can feel even more secure in the knowledge that Elizabeth is a full-fledged member at Beth El.
In May, Beth El took a bold step by voting unanimously as a community to update its bylaws, recognizing that non-Jewish members of interfaith families can become fullfl edged members of the congregation. It was a change, said Beth El Senior Rabbi Steven Schwartz, that allows Beth El to practice what it preaches.
“Beth El has always been a leader in terms of a progressive approach to Conservative Jewish life,” Rabbi Schwartz said. “For many years now we have been pushing the envelope in terms of integrating interfaith families at Beth El, particularly in the way people who are not Jewish are able to participate in our services. The idea has always been to make people feel as welcome as possible, and to understand that the non-Jewish member in a family plays an important role in raising Jewish children.”
Gail Willoughby is a perfect example of the confluence of the history of Beth El and the move to recognize interfaith families. Gail's grandparents, Benjamin and Betty Smelkinson were among the congregation's founders in 1948.
“I grew up at Beth El,” she said. “I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't at Beth El.”
Thirty-seven years ago, Gail married Wayne Willoughby, who is Lutheran. The couple has two children, Matthew and Dana, who celebrated their B'nai Mitzvot at Beth El, continue to attend services and remain active. Dana now helps prepare Beth El children for their Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies. Over the years Wayne Willoughby has served on Beth El committees, regularly attended services and contributed to the Beth El community in ways large and small. But until that vote in May, he could not be considered a member of the congregation. For congregation President Denise Franz, amending the bylaws became a personal goal for her term.
While Franz said that questions remain regarding how to incorporate non-Jewish family members in particular circumstances, everyone agrees that this was a beneficial and important first step. And families with children currently being educated at Beth El feel newly welcomed.
THROUGH THE GRANDPARENTS' EYES AND HEARTS
Navigating the Holiday Season as an Interfaith Family
Sunday, December 9, 6:00-8:00 PM in the Kolker Room
Now that we are in the midst of the Holiday Season, there are many difficult questions, compromises and concerns that effect Interfaith families in our community. Please join us for an open and judgment free discussion led by Rabbi Steven Schwartz. Parents, grandparents, and not-yet grandparents of all faiths are invited to join us. Light refreshments will be served. Please RSVP and send questions or concerns to Gail Willoughby at grswill@icloud.com.