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Cantor-Educator Melanie Blatt is the guest speaker for this month's Caregiver Cafe (Thursday, September 20th at 2:00 pm in the Soul Center). Cantor Melanie leads Beth El's Hesed outreach initiative with a specific focus on Bikur Holim, the mitzvah to visit and extend aid to the sick, where she often performs spiritually and physically healing music to people in hospice and assisted living. Cantor Blatt's unique perspective on caregiving reminds her how lucky we are to have a moment of time on this planet. “When I'm with people who are ill, I'll look around the room and observe the pictures of their families who love them so much, and their lifetime of accomplishments,” said Cantor Melanie. “Those moments seem so far in the past, but the caregiving process brings a sense of renewal and hope.” 

Witnessing a loved one experience an illness or traumatic event might shake the foundations of one's religious or spiritual beliefs. What would you say to a caregiver experiencing a crisis of faith?

At any given moment in a person's life, they could question the existence of God or a creator. Traumatic moments, or spending time with a loved one who is ill, are times that test our faith the most. Maintaining faith during a traumatic moment might be as simple as asking: “Why is this happening?” The question itself is a search for meaning that's greater than ourselves. Caregiving for a loved one forces us to take something that's entirely out of our control and find a way to control it. In those times it's only natural to experience a crisis of faith because when you've persevered through the trauma, it will be easier to reconnect with your faith. 

In what ways might caregiving (or supporting a loved one) strengthen one's faith?

Everyone lives and dies. Accepting that we have a limited number of days on this planet is a difficult thing to do. When you're around people who are ill, or who have experienced trauma, you're reminded of the preciousness of life. Low-points in your life help you appreciate the joyful times. If life was good all the time, and there was never anything bad that happened, you wouldn't feel or savor the state of goodness. Caregiving reminds us that, while we're not in control of how long we're on this earth, we are in control of how we spend the time we're given, including actions, behaviors, and how we treat our loved ones. 

How does maintaining faith relate to self-care when supporting a loved one through a difficult time?

It's very easy to ignore one's own needs - and put someone else's needs in front of yours - especially when your loved one's needs are pressing as is the case with a severe illness. But a caregiver must be healthy - emotionally and physically - to give care. Perhaps that means creating a routine of meditation (before going into the caregiving space). Self-care is an essential part of the caregiving process as it inspires hope that one day your loved one might be able to care for themselves again. By taking care of yourself, you create a foundation of inward strength not just for yourself, but your loved one as well. 

The Soul Center hosts Caregiver Cafe on the third Thursday of each month from 2:00�"3:30 pm.

2018 Dates: June 21st, July 19th, September 20th, October 18th, November 15th, December 20th.
​2019 Dates:  January 17th, February 21st, March 21st, April 18th, May 16th, June 20th.

For more information on Caregiver Cafe, please visit the Soul Center's website.